People from all over the world come to South Africa these days to attend the Soccer World Championship.
Of course it makes sense to know a little bit about the country you want to travel to in advance.
So you will ask for answers from the tourist office…

So far – so good…

Here are some Q & A´s I found at http://www.restinations.co.za/tourism_jokes.asp

Tourism Jokes for South Africa

Subject: South Africa questions

These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner – unfortunately we were forwarded these without any reference to the original website so if you know which website it comes from please let us know so we can give credit to them.
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it raining on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only two thousand kilometers, take lots of water…

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes…?

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey’s Bay? (UK)
A: ….and what did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific.
A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not… oh forget it.
Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is… oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas

Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-me-ri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.

If you don´t know wether you are a materialistic person, here´s the story:

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.
When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” he whined.

“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” retorted the officer, “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”

“Oh my god”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, “Where’s my Rolex!”

My little gift for the less materialistic guys: Love – The Book

For the rest of you here´s my other tip:
Win lots of attractive incentives like an Apple iPad, Apple Macbook or even a brand new BMW or Aston Martin while earning fat commissions…

To your success

Christoph

Yes, I admit, I am an excited Apple user for more than twenty years now…

Watch the “Prince of Bel Air” – Wil Smith – meeting the “Prinz von Koeln-Suelz” – Stefan Raab

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at heaven´s gates.

There being asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?” they answer:

“I would like to hear them say that I was the greates doctor of my time, and a great family man”, the first guy says.

The second guy: “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”

The last one replies: “I would like to hear them say… LOOK!!! HE’S MOVING!!!!!”

Thanks Bill for this funny video…

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee..

The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”

The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”

The fourth Catholic man chirps, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well….?”

She replies, “I have a daughter. She is slim, tall and 38D-24-36. When she walks into a room, people say, ‘Oh My God’.”

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This video is called

The Greatest Prank Call Ever

Just when you thought it was safe to get a job at a call center, this prank phone call proves that Karma exists, and American’s can fight back when it comes to unsolicited calls. (http://greensboring.com/)

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Interesting stuff for all twitter, facebook, myspace, linkedin, xing … users.

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If myspace were a country it would be the 5th largest in the world…

Did you know this?
This and many other surprising facts you can see in ths video.

But what does this mean to you? What can you make out of this?

Well, knowing that a single platform like myspace, facebook or twitter can get you access to huge markets in no time and even free of charge should make every marketer sleepless.
Our world is changing rapidly so we do have to as well, at least if we want to stay in business.

Enjoy the video and then subscribe to my newsletter. I´ll show you some of the most powerful tools and up-to-date strategies used by the top internet marketers who make millions of $ every year (some even month after month).

To your success

Christoph

Recently during a workshop I was confronted with the following question which I think is essential for every business builder. So I thought it was fun to start a quick inquiry. Here is the question:

If you had a magic wand and you could wave it to get the best possible outcome out of mastering your online business, what would it be?

Would it be

• a long list of prospects?
• a super converting product?
• be on first page with Google?
• a million bucks or more in your bank account?
• a 4 working hours week?
• more time with your family and friends?
• …

What is your answer?

When building a new business and working on making it grow there is always this essential question: “What makes my potential buyers pull their credit cards out of their pockets and through their money after me?”

I guess you might be in a similar situation of asking yourself where to start analysing the leading motivation / most urgent demands in your niche. The answer can decide wether your work will pay out or flop, right?

Your estimate counts!

So let me invite you to participate and profit. Leave a comment, give me your suggestion and come back later to see what others have to say.

You can profit from other´s feedback as well as others can profit from you. Thus the more answers the better. Feel free to tweet this post and invite your friends and followers to participate in this short inquiry. Others will follow.

To our common success

Christoph